Healing From Family Scapegoating & Narcissistic Spectrum Abuse

Glynis Sherwood MEd Psychotherapist & Coach

Understand how you got hurt. Reclaim who you are. Find freedom.

Were you blamed for family problems, treated as the ‘difficult’ one, criticized or shamed, or made to feel that something was fundamentally wrong with you?

Did you grow up with a self centered, narcissistic or emotionally abusive parent or family member? Were you bullied or ostracized by your family as a group?

Perhaps you have spent years trying to understand what went wrong in your family of origin and how you got hurt, while continuing to struggle with self doubt, guilt, low self worth, difficult relationships, anxiety, grief or a painful sense that you don’t quite know who you are.

You are not alone. And the difficulties you experience today may make much more sense when viewed in the context of what you experienced growing up.

You May Have Been the Family Scapegoat

Family scapegoating can leave deep emotional injuries that don’t simply disappear when you grow up and leave home.

You may find yourself:

Struggling with low self worth, shame or a feeling that you are somehow defective
Hearing a harsh inner critic that repeats the negative messages you grew up with
Doubting your perceptions, decisions and ability to trust yourself
Feeling chronically stressed, anxious or emotionally overwhelmed
Struggling with trust, intimacy, boundaries or communication in relationships
Carrying grief for the family you needed but never had
Feeling confused about your identity, direction or place in the world
Experiencing the ongoing effects of trauma from childhood abuse, neglect or emotional invalidation

You may understand intellectually what went wrong in your family, yet still feel the effects emotionally.

This is where healing begins: by understanding what went wrong in your family of origin and how you got hurt, recognizing that their ‘story’ about you is not the truth about who you are.

You were assigned a false and harmful role.

You do not have to live in it forever.

Understanding Family Scapegoating

A family scapegoat is often assigned a role within a dysfunctional family system whereby blame, shame and responsibility for family problems are repeatedly directed toward one person.

In families affected by narcissistic or other emotionally abusive dynamics, the scapegoated person may be criticized, invalidated, excluded, controlled, blamed or gossiped about, while other family members’ behavior remains protected or excused.

Over time, this can distort the way you see yourself.

You may begin to believe the negative messages you were given – or spend years trying to prove that they are wrong.

Understanding these dynamics can help you make sense of experiences that may have seemed confusing or impossible to explain.

Learn More About Family Scapegoat and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

A Path From Scapegoating to Freedom – the 5 R Model

Recovery is not simply about understanding that your family was dysfunctional. It is about overcoming the ways those experiences continue to affect your life.

1. Recognize: Begin to understand what went wrong in your family of origin – how you got hurt.

2. Reality Test: Separate the truth about who you are from the blame, shame and negative beliefs – and programming – you may have internalized.

3. Reclaim: Restore your self worth, identity, confidence and ability to trust your own perceptions.

4. Rebuild: Develop healthier boundaries, make solid decisions about family and intimate relationships, and create more secure and satisfying relationships.

5. Reorient – Find Freedom: Move beyond organizing your life around your family’s judgment and begin living from your own values, needs and sense of self.

Explore the Scapegoat Recovery Hub

Online Video Psychotherapy and Coaching Available Around the World

I want to make sure you get the help you need by meeting with you wherever you are. Busy professionals, high profile people who want maximum privacy, Ex-Pats, people with young children or living in smaller communities where in person options are limited can all benefit from Online Video Therapy or Coaching. You can also choose online therapy or coaching if you can’t or don’t want to commute to attend sessions, travel a lot or live part of the year outside of your home town.

Learn More About Glynis Sherwood Here

Multimedia Resources

As a psychotherapist, coach and author I know the value of combining coaching with self help resources to help you reach your goals. I publish free, in depth articles, podcasts on my Blog, where you will find dozens of self help posts to help you move forward faster. For example, here’s the link to a popular article I wrote on family scapegoating that will help you understand the signs and how to heal: 12 Steps to Healing From Being the Family Scapegoat

I am here to help you break free of ‘the pain that won’t go away’, and chart your course to the life you want and deserve

Benefits of Targeted Online Video Psychotherapy & Coaching Include:

Overcoming harms from family or workplace abuse so you can live in – and enjoy – the present
Transcending the pain of estrangement grief, loss and betrayal caused by narcissistic family abuse or scapegoating
Reclaiming your ‘true narrative’ by developing a solid, reality based sense of self-worth, confidence and contentment
Creating healthier, more satisfying, secure and loving relationships
Aligning your beliefs and emotions, so you can feel more at ease and in control of your life

Need Help?
Request an Appointment

Podcast Interview on Scapegoating Glynis Sherwood