by Glynis Sherwood MEd
- Become aware that too often you feel inadequate, flawed or defective.
- Working backwards, identify negative core beliefs about yourself that stem from feeling inadequate.
- Decide to re-examine your long held belief that ‘not measuring up’ is the truth about you.
- Look for evidence that – at least some of the time – you are at least ‘adequate’.
- Also identify exceptions to not being good enough.
- Recognize that this evidence and exceptions are also the truth.
- Decide that if there are parts of you or your life that need improvement, you will figure out ways to work on becoming a better human being, and give yourself credit for doing so.
- Develop an expanded view of the truth, and redefine your beliefs about yourself along more realistic and positive lines – your value, talent, abilities, and inherent worth as a person.
- Actively challenge negative core beliefs when they are triggered, your mood is low, or you are entertaining dark thoughts about yourself.
- Practice Steps 1 through 9 consistently, until one day you wake up and the Inner Scapegoat no longer has a grip on you.
Scapegoating in Families: Intergenerational patterns of physical and emotional abuse, Dr Vimala Pillari, Philadelphia, PA, US: Brunner/Mazel, 1991
Child Abuse: Pathological Syndrome of Family Interaction, Arthur Green, Richard Gaines and Alice Sandgrund, The American Journal of Psychiatry, 2015
Need help standing up to the Inner Scapegoat? Contact Glynis to Request an Appointment