One of the most common concerns I hear from grieving folks is that too many people just don’t seem to know what to say to them, and end up either making inappropriate remarks or avoiding them altogether. This can result in the griever feeling isolated and unsupported. Fortunately talking to grieving people does not have […]
10 Keys to Surviving the Emotional Roller Coaster of Palliative Care-Giving
Dedicated to Cleveland Amory Sherwood 1998 – September 20, 2011 The best cat ever! I started to write this post a couple of weeks ago. Since that time I have had to carry out the excruciating decision to euthanize my sweet tabby cat Cleveland due to the ravages of cancer. Cleveland died only 2 ½ […]
Care Giver Grief – Part 3: Loss of Choice & Cancer Treatment Options
Over the past couple of weeks I took some vacation time. This was planned. What wasn’t planned was that I would be spending it nursing Cleveland, my dear cat and recently diagnosed cancer patient. Cleveland is being treated holistically, meaning the emphasis is on diet, supplements and TLC, rather than toxic chemotherapy or the […]
Care Giver Grief – Part 2: Dealing with Loss & Uncertainty
In my previous post I wrote about my cat Cleveland who was recently diagnosed with cancer. As his principle care giver I have many difficult and unclear decisions to make about the kind of treatment to opt for and how to care for him on a day to day basis. I am also living with not knowing if the […]
Care Giver Grief – The Losses of Daily Life & ‘Anticipatory’ Grief
Today I took my beloved tabby cat Cleveland for yet another surgical intervention to deal with his severe chronic respiratory disease. He’s a brave, loving and determined little fellow who has just barely bypassed the grim reaper on several occasions. This time his vet is looking for everything from a fungus infection to cancer. Cleveland’s life started […]
4 Tasks of Grief Recovery
What Does Grief Recovery Mean Exactly? There’s a saying in grief recovery that: ‘It’s not that the boulder gets smaller, but that our shoulders get stronger’. To me what this points to is that grief can’t be ‘cured’. For in order to grief to be cured the loss would have to be erased, which is […]
Myths of Grief Recovery #7 – Keep Busy
Time plus ‘Right’ Action Helps to Heal the Pain of Grief Distraction Does Not Equal Healing The myth that those in grief should just stay busy is a lot like myth #1 – Time Heals All Wounds. And like that myth, staying busy in itself does not promote healing, just as time does nothing […]
Myths of Grief Recovery #6 – Be Strong For Others
Putting Others Ahead Of Yourself While Grieving Is Simply the Wrong Order The idea that you should be strong for others is another grief myth that tends to start in childhood, when we are taught that it is somehow more appropriate to put other’s needs ahead of our own. This myth is a double […]
Myths of Grief Recovery #5 – Grieve By Yourself
Grieving Alone – A Recipe For Loneliness & Isolation Do grievers withdraw by nature or due to shame and stigma for feeling upset? The idea that you should grieve alone almost always comes from social taboos against expressing painful emotions in public. Unless those in grief choose to grieve alone, this myth keeps others comfortable, while doing nothing […]
The Toll Of Addiction – Grieving The Loss Of An Old Friend
Remembering Gary Last Friday I learned that my old friend Gary had died a few years ago. Prematurely gone. What’s shocking is that he died so young. But what’s more shocking is that I knew he was gone for many years. Not ‘knew’ in the facts sense, but intuitively, as I had sensed many years […]
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